when i was a child  i had a dream. a lap-top,a car and fluent english is what i want to possess .it is a simple and normal dream .pity that i had not want to have a girl in my life .now i have nothing but only a lap-top corproation assigned to me and unsatisfied english .seems dream comes to nothing .dream comes to bullshit .
once upon a time my body runs so fast that my soul could not cath up with it. i became an utterly worthless person . i lost many things in the past half year because of my ignorant. as for payment the god gave me much too. the god is always fair guy. nevertheless my dream is still a dream . should i wake up or just go on dreaming ? i am haunted by the reality of the society for a long time. i am confused. this is an animal community but all of them pretend to be human beings.
i was disdained and fucked some times for my powerless. i didn't complain for any body who did that to me . i only complain myself. i became fragile . god says to me thank you those who give you pain because it make you feel painless. god says to thank you those who make your suffering because you doomed to bear more .
some times i became so impulsive that doing some foolish things causing many sneering. impulsive suggest i am still young. impulsive indicate i am not mature. for a long and long time , i didn't be impulsive .and for a long long time i didn't drink alcohol .life became boring and i had no enthusiasm . many says that is the real life . i believe that.