【春风行动——006号学员】

今日练习（要求至少200字）：
The society would benefit from the ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purposes and can even be damaging. To some extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

我的作文：(请批改~~)
There has been a hot topic recently about the ban on all forms of advertising in society. Some people argue that all advertising does not play a good role in the competitive market. Hence, they support the ban and they believe that the society will become more orderly. Yet, I do not agree this viewpoint.

Indeed , the decision of shopping was greatly affected by ads just a few years ago. Most individuals checked the want ads, as long as they make a decision to go shopping. Because the ad, as a guide, could tell us the best direction of our purchases. People also save a mass of time via the ads. Yet, many firms began to chase the maximum economic benefit. They did everything possible for it. And they were well aware that the ads was pretty important for their sales. They used the advertising as a device for stimulating demand. Hence, a large amount of money was spent on advertisements every year. However, with the increasingly fierce market competition, their success became not very remarkable. Therefore, they turned their attentions to the false advertising for their high profit. And unfair Competition started. A large quantity of the false advertising existed in markets. The public found the situation quickly and they did not strongly dependent on the ads.

However, this does not mean that the ads will be completely replaced by other thing or be thoroughly removed. There is the existence of its own advantages. After all, the amount of information people receive is so much that people always hesitate about it. Hence, people could save time and make a decision through the ads. And the ads' propagandist effect is unshakable. At present, we have not found what can replace it. Therefore, I think that the ban on all forms of advertising is impracticable.

批改后的作文：
There has been a hot topic recently about the ban on all forms of advertising in society. Some people argue that all advertising does not play a good[有些词语如good,nice,bad 之类的太空洞，最好不要用，改成positive, negative,beneficial...类似的，get, make 之类的词语也最好改成具体的动作] role in the competitive market. Hence, they support the ban and they believe that the society will become more orderly. Yet, I do not agree[另外一个写作的技巧，否定的意思可以直接用前缀体现， disagree, 类似的 not too many=few, not too much = little, not=never/by no means 代替等等] this viewpoint.

Indeed , the decision of shopping was greatly affected by ads just a few years ago. Most individuals checked the want[wanted] ads, as long as they make[made,时态不同] a decision to go shopping. Because the ad, as a guide, could tell us the best direction of our purchases. People also save a mass of time via the ads. Yet[However/Nevertheless/But/On the contratory/In contrast...不要老用yet], many firms began to chase the maximum economic benefit. They did everything possible for it. And they were well aware [of the fact] that the ads was pretty important for their sales. They used the advertising as a device for stimulating demand. Hence, a large amount of money was spent on advertisements every year. However, with the increasingly fierce market competition, their success became not very[less] remarkable. Therefore, they turned their attentions to the false advertising for their high profit. And unfair Competition started. A large quantity of the false advertising existed in markets. The public found the situation quickly and they did not strongly dependent on the ads.

However, this does not mean that the ads will be completely replaced by other thing or be thoroughly removed. There is the existence of its own advantages. After all, the amount of information people receive is so much that people always hesitate about it. Hence, people could save time and make a decision through the ads. And the ads' propagandist[这个词语太大，一般是指政府或者政治团体的宣传，洗脑...] effect is unshakable. At present, we have not found what can replace it. Therefore, I think that the ban on all forms of advertising is impracticable.

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