Currently, smoking has disputed by more and more people.Smoking may be a pleasure for some people. However,it brings lots of inconvenience to their families,friends and people around. 
     Smokers think that smoking is a reasonable right for them.And it can add national revenue and promote economical development.Above all, they say smoking also can help them make relaxative and even inspire many new ideas into them.
     However,nowadays,from televisions,newspapers and other media,we can get plenty of information that smoking is awfully awfully for every one.Smokers who have cigarettes in the long term will have lots of diseases, such as lung cancer,heart disease and so on. The smoke also pollutes environment and makes air worse. Some smokers are so careless that they litter up cigarette ends.As a result, many fire case often happen.And many medicai scientists appeal that smoking is bad for not only smokers but also some people who work, study or live with the smokers,especially children.
     Although smoking have its beneficial aspects which are much fewer than disadvantages.After all,smoking in public occasions is not a personal right, it only also consider public benefits.Therefor,somking in some public situations should be prohibited.

我参照了ahu的写作心得：
1、分析话题，表明态度。
比如今日主题是有人说吸烟应该在公众场所被禁止，有人认为吸烟者也有自己的权利。让你讨论这两种态度，然后给出自己观点。所以不能只说吸烟的一个方面，优点缺点都要谈到。最简单的是扩写题目。“吸烟一直是个广受关注的话题，因为它给予吸烟者很大的快感但是又对大众健康非常有害。”（参考豆子的，这一句就可以凑到30个字呀！）“无论支持者还是反对者都有着很多充分的理由，下面我们来浅议一下他们的观点。”
看，豆子第一段就有53个字，而这仅仅只是把题目扩写了一番，还完全没有谈到吸烟怎么好和怎么不好。你还发愁没有话说嘛！
2、拓展话题，给出理由。
接下来就可以分析吸烟的好处和坏处。Ahu个人建议把你不喜欢的（例如吸烟好处：使人放松、自由权利、增加税收等）放在前面写，喜欢的放在后面（吸烟坏处：多种疾病、污染环境、残害儿童、引起火灾！）。这样可以达到双方面都讨论，而自己的观点又重点说明了。
3、总结论据，再次表明态度。
根据上面讨论，某方面来讲吸烟的确有一些益处，但是它的坏处大大大于好处。更何况在公众场所吸烟已经不是一个人的权利，要考虑到大众利益。所以在公众场所吸烟应该被禁止！大大滴禁止！

批改后的作文：
Currently, smoking has (been) disputed by more and more people.Smoking may be a pleasure for some people. However,it brings lots of inconvenience to their families,friends and people around.
Smokers think that smoking is a reasonable right for them.And it can add national revenue and promote economical(economical节约的;economic经济上的) development.Above all, they say smoking also can help them make relaxative (make relaxative怪怪的,可以换成help make them relaxative) and even inspire many new ideas into(in,或者直接inspire them) them.
However,nowadays,from televisions,newspapers and other media,we can get plenty of information that smoking is awfully awfully (?)for every one.Smokers who have cigarettes in the long term will have lots of diseases, such as lung cancer,heart disease and so on. The smoke also pollutes environment and makes air worse. Some smokers are so careless that they litter up cigarette ends.As a result, many fire case(s) often happen.And many medicai scientists appeal that smoking is bad for not only smokers but also some people who work, study or live with the smokers,especially children.
Although smoking have its beneficial aspects which are much fewer than disadvantages.After all,smoking in public occasions is not a personal right, it only also consider public benefits.(俄..没搞懂= =) Therefore,somking in some public situations should be prohibited.