Every affaire always begins with a lonely travel and end by the same lonely journey.

If you ask me the signification of travel, then I will tell you that one new journey is the ending of your old life. No one really tell you where you should go and what you should see during that journey but only yourself decide to pack your bag, take whatever train or bus and maybe hold one novel you planed to read long time ago on the road. No doubt that any kind of landscapes or single familiar shadow will remind the story happened on you, but there are no longer tears on face and hurt in heart.

One brand new travel, unknown and exciting but actually has no difference with the tranquil day only your affections. When finally back where you belong to then those pictures you took would remind you the old-fashion photographs of DIOR dress inside the big window in the Avenue des Champs-Elysées, the dream-like smile of Princess Margaret in the bustling crowd, or the ancient Rome Arena seems still around the noisy and bloody time. All only left you alone with fear and sorrowful standing on the central of the planning of La Defence of Paris. Have no feeling of being at home, I was planning to move to another city to start my new life totally, however, I know that I have to face with the truth myself and back to where we were. Only a flash of travel can let you out of tough situation for a second just in your imagination.

Since Tina went to the South and planed to have one week’s travel with her close friend Sara. Everything seems paused but each of us knew that it has not end yet. Whatever answer Tina got from Jasper of her 3 choices, it has been already meaningless to me, because the point for me now turned to the friendship but no longer my lover. I knew that has lost the right to love and to be loved very long time ago when I sent out the letter to Tina and let her to be brave to seize her own love. Somehow it reminds my last escaping, the shinning night with stars all over me and the coldest wind blow by face. Despite how hard I tried to forget and clam but everything backed to its beginning for one call from Jasper. Also, it is almost one month that no one see Jasper wherever at day or night, no messages from him at all. Excepted a few guys who live with him, no one really know what happened on him.

Nevertheless, even he begged, I knew that I will not ever fall again, I am completely out of this complicated relationship at all but being the truly me. As a rambler, I knew what I should do and which step will goes well. But the pity is no one really understand what exactly I’ve been through and been suffered all. There are still millions of words that I have not got any chance to say to him, perhaps that day will never comes. I only have the ability to write down them all, happiness, sadness, cries and laughs, let the scars on my heart too pain to paralysis. Then I can forget from the very first beginning to the final end. Someday I can say that it is too hard to remember when is the ending of my last love, perhaps is ended at the scorching summer or the misery autumn, but only left pieces of memory of person and sightseeing to pathos. That is the love I longed for years and even once believed I fell so deep that can not without him, for now, everything could be so easy. As older as I am, seems that less talk I will do with people around me as hard as hug. Can not find the way back to the familiar feelings but must face with those strangers machinery in daily life, then I not only suspected that actually love is so limit that I’ve already read them all in such a young age but also want to learn the power to meet the love not just lost it away on one past man. Now I can shout it out “I no longer love him at all.” To be a lonely person and enjoy the day alone silently, then the real life journey starts.