July the 14th, 1861
Washington DC
Dear Sarah,
The indications are very strong that we shall move in a
few days - perhaps tomorrow. And lest I should not be able
to write you again, I feel impelled to write a few lines that
may fall under your eye when I am no more.
I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the
cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt
or falter. I know how American civilization now leans upon
the triumph of the government, and how great a debt we
owe to those who went before us through the blood and
suffering of the revolution. And I am willing - perfectly
willing - to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain
this government, and to pay that debt.
Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me
with mighty cables that nothing but omnipotence could
break; and yet my love of country comes over me like a
strong wind and bears me irresistibly on with all those chains
to the battlefield.
The memories of all the blissful moments I have enjoyed
with you come crowding over me, and I feel most deeply
gratified to God and you that I have enjoyed them for so
long. And how hard it is for me to give them up and burn to
ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might
still have lived and loved together and see our boys grow up
to honorable manhood around us. If I do not return,my dear
Sarah, never forget how much I loved you, nor that when
my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper
your name.
Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have
caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have sometimes
been!
But, Oh Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth
and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be
with you in the brightest day and in the darkest night -
always, always. And when a soft breeze fans your cheek, it
shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing
temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.
Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait
for thee, for we shall meet again.
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