严老师:
您好!
我是您环球雅思基础段的学生.
首先非常感谢您给予我们的帮助,随着备战雅思的深入,日益认识到您之前教给我们的一些词汇和用法,以及中英文差异等知识的重要性,可以说这对于我理解雅思和英语学习都有着很大的影响.
所以,我想询问一下,您除了雅思基础段和尖子版这样针对雅思的课程外,还有没有其他的课程针对英语学习的,我非常想通过上您的课程来提高自身的英语素质.
另外,我想向您请教一下,在给国外院校写询问信,简历,推荐信和动机信的时候,分别有什么特别需要注意的或者特定的格式和用词么?期待您能给我一些建议,非常感谢!
宋毅
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谢谢你的信任!
1 关于课程, 除了雅思托福,还有博客,书在生产中,希望早日面市.
2 出国留学移民要用的8种常见书信,移民班有详细讲解,你问了好几种写法不尽相同的文书写作,所以我建议你看一下我不久前给一个老学员的回信,要提醒的是,一善用网络的大量免费资源确立样本写法,二,一定要在内容上用简洁之笔,彰显自己特色.
祝成功!
圆圆:
以下两篇文章,加一个网站供参考.大概写法都在其中,另外争取在内容上彰显自己的特色!
祝好运!
严春华
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个人陈述(Personal Statement)是申请文书中非常重要的组成部分。个人陈述的好坏直接影响申请的结果，这已经是不争的事实。东方新视角会从以下方面帮助您写出一篇具有说服力并能突出你的特质的个人陈述。
1.分析你的个性和经历；
2.区分、组织和取舍你的特质、经历、和成就来满足学校录取的要求和标准；
3.把所有这些编排好的信息归纳在一个叙述性的结构中；
4.写出一篇具有说服力能突出你的特质的文章来。
什么是个人陈述
个人陈述是在申请过程中按照学校要求来写一篇有关申请人背景，学术成就和未来研究和职业目标的文章。一篇成功的个人陈述应不但应该语言流畅，逻辑严谨，层次分明，更要充分显示申请人的才华并抓住审阅人的注意力。几乎所有学校都要求提交个人陈述。
个人陈述也有不同的名称，如Personal Statement，Statement of Purpose，Statement of Intent, Statement of Objectives, Academic Statement，Study Plan，Academic Objectives等。个人陈述应当包含以下内容：
（一）申请者的学术或专业兴趣及背景；
（二）欲研究的方向；
（三）未来的职业目标。
如果个人陈述写作得当，可以很大程度地提高申请者获得录取和奖学金的机会。这对申请者来说是一个绝好的机会。可惜的是很多申请者对TOEFL、GRE可谓呕心沥血，而对个人陈述往往一蹴而就，敷衍了事，内容贫乏、语法错误连篇。而西方的大学并不单是通过传统的考试来考评其申请者的资格，这并不是说他们的录取标准不严格。外 国 教授在决定你是否正是他们想要的人时，首先希望听一听你对于你自己作何评价。当你通过申请文书来介绍你自己时，你会发现所面临的机遇和挑战同样之大。
要写出成功的申请文书仅仅有那些适用于任何类型写作的基本写作技巧（清晰、简洁）是远远不够的。一篇好的申请文书要求申请人能够用一种与其他申请人完全不同方式，巧妙地展现自己的独特个性和经验。这是一件要求比较高，通常非常繁累的工作。这不仅仅对中国人如此，以英语为母语的人在此类写作时也会感到十分的头疼，但是我们中国人还需克服语言的障碍。
如何写个人陈述
个人陈述的内容应包含下列三项资料：
（一）申请者的学术或专业兴趣及背景；
（二）欲研究的方向；
（三）未来的职业目标；
写作时，依以上三点将文章分为三各主要部分。不要像列清单，也不要重覆申请表格已有的资料。
注意事项：
（一）详读学校的写作说明并了解问题的重点，不赘言，不遗漏，且在要求的字数内完成。例如学校要求五百字内完成(In 500 words or less discuss ...)，则全文最好不要超过五百字。如果学校要求以问答方式来叙述 (Responses to essay questions, Please limit your response to on page.)，即依其要求回答不长过一页。
（二）写作时应清楚明确。例如：
1. "I am interested in English literature" 这句话表达不够清楚，而I was concentrated on Milton and Shakespeare in college" 就明白的说出了申请人的志趣及研究范围。
2．"I received extensive training in physics" 这句话不够详细，"My training was in the area of particle physics"就具体多了。
3. "I was very active as a student representative" 最好说明曾经做什么:组织活动，主办演讲，沟通学生与校方意见等。
4．"I am attracted to your department by its brilliant faculty."应说 明对於 教授的认知是从何而来，如在何处读到某教授的文章而愿受教于他，或某位教授正在从事一项重要研究，与自己欲攻读的研究领域相同等。表达对所申请之系的课程、教师和特性有些了解，依学校之不同而提及某位任教於该校的教授、新课程或该校的某个学位有兴趣。
（三）不要用语意模糊的句子，如 "Your esteemed school"应代以学校的名字。"I will return to serve my country"应明确的说出所要从事的到底是什麽工作等。
（四）避免用深奥的字汇，尽量以简单容易的字来表达。
（五）不要离题，谈论一些不相干的事。
（六）态度诚恳认真，不卑不亢。不用为自己的弱点道歉，比如托福成绩不高等；也不要表现得过份自信。重要的是给学校一个专业，认真的印象。
（七）不要抄袭，改写书上的样本文章。应详读学校的介绍，了解其要求，再对自己的学业背景、计划加以考虑，写出自己的风格。
（八）检查英文的时态、性别及单多数等方面的错误。
Ten Do's for Personal Statement
1.Unite your essay and give it direction with a theme or thesis. The thesis is the main point you want to communicate.
2.Before you begin writing, choose what you want to discuss and the order in which you want to discuss it.
3.Use concrete examples from your life experience to support your thesis and distinguish yourself from other applicants.
4.Write about what interests you, excites you. That's what admissions staff wants to read.
5.Start your essay with an attention-grabbing lead -- an anecdote, quote, question, or engaging description of scene.
6.End your essay with a conclusion that refers back to lead and restates your thesis.
7.Revise your essay at least three times.
8.In addition to your editing, ask someone else to critique your personal statement for you.
9.Proofread your personal statement by reading it out loud or reading it into a tape recorder and playing back the tape.
10.Write clearly, succinctly.
Ten Don'ts for Personal Statement
1.Don't include information that doesn't support your thesis.
2.Don't start your essay with "I was born in.." or "My parents came from..."
3.Don't write an autobiography, itinerary, or resume in prose.
4.Don't try to be a clown (but gentle humor is ok).
5.Don't be afraid to start over if the essay just isn't working or doesn't answer the essay question.
6.Don't try to impress your reader with your vocabulary.
7.Don't rely exclusively on your computer to check your spelling.
8.Don't provide a collection of generic statements and platitudes.
9.Don't give mealy-mouthed, weak excuses for your GPA or test scores.
10.Don't make things up.
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Little tips 4 PERSONAL STATEMENT
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* Your Personal Statement is a formal, serious piece of writing.
*Remember that Admissions Tutors will use your Personal Statement to assess your language and communication skills, plus your ability to structure and present your ideas clearly
*Do not use poetic or elaborate language: you are presenting yourself as a student not an artist
* Do not use informal vocabulary, abbreviations used in chatting/taxts, or exclamation marks
* Do not misspell, check when drafting your Personal Statement in Word to make sure there are no spelling or grammatical errors. Not that UCAS Apply has no spell checking function.
* Present your qualities/ strengths in a positive but modest way: I think/ believe/ hope I am ...
* Show you have thought about your study plans and are a self-motivated student
* EXPLAIN the points you make to show how they are relevant to your application by giving specific examples or support. When writing about your studies/ work experience/ activities state what you learnt/ observed and why it was useful/ relevant. Eg, don't just say "My work experience was very useful to me", continue with " because I learnt/ observed / realised..."
PS: apple doesn't have spell checking function either, i typed myself, so any misleading in spell, don't care too much
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11-19-2004 , 17:51 |
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o gamova
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Re: Little tips 4 PERSONAL STATEMENT
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try to do it by your self
可以找自己的老師要advice的吧
just couple of hundred words, simple.
just be enthusiastic, and focus on how deep you really want to go to the uni you have applied.
明确你读的course
为什么读，在这个领域有什么梦想
为了读这个course,有没有做任何相关工作
在学校课余时间，自己爱好
特长
写完给老师看看,老师会给你意见的
第一段:为什么选这个专业(兴趣.家庭影响.....)
第二段:如果你在英国有PART JOB和你选的专业有关联的话/得到的奖章或者什么荣誉证书需要提及的
第三段:个人的兴趣爱好
第四段:结尾
当时我们就是这么写的啦.我找老师改了10遍以上,
自己写好找老师帮你改就是了，记得猛说自己怎么怎么好就行了
600-700 words is about right
用WORD写，12号的字可以写47行
如果是字数！！就525个字
你什么专业啊，如果有过工作经历，能和你申请大学联系得上的做好写进去
对于申请学校来讲，PERSONAL STATEMENT 是展示自己的个性，经历，和PERSONAL INSIGHTS的一个很好的机会。学校在看到你的考试成绩，平均成绩，和课外活动之后，有一个总体的印象。但是需要更加PERSONAL的东西来使你 STAND OUT， 因为一串的数字是代表不了你的。
越是SELECTIVE，或者小一些的学校，就越看重PERSONAL STATEMENT。
一般PERSONAL STATEMENT的题目有这几个（在美国申请大学时）：
1. Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its importance to you.
2. Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.
3. Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe the influence.
4. Describe a character in fiction, an hisorical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.
5. Topic of you choice.
我个人觉得第一个题目最好些，因为自己经历过的东西不会空洞。
给自己准备充分的时间来准备，请英语好的人（像ACEDREAMER这样的 ）多次修改。
这里有一些参考资料：
http://www.essayedge.com
另外现在还有很多书是指导PERSONAL STATEMENT的。
A sample{ dont' copy a}
Computer Science Personal Statement
Computing and its applications have always fascinated me and for this reason I have found my A-level courses extremely interesting. This also has maintained my long-term interest in computer-related careers.
I have studied mathematics, physics and computing to A-level and also during the first year at Hills Road Sixth Form College I re-took my GCSE English. Last year and this year I have been improving my self-learning, and developing many skills with the help of the key skills qualifications and A-level General Studies.
My sincerest desire is to become a computer scientist. Specifically, I am interested in exploring how problems can be modeled and solved using artificial intelligence. I also want to learn about human cognition and machine intelligence. I have been studying the online debate over whether machines will ever become "intelligent" given the current course of research and reading about such issues as whether a machine can acquire "common sense" (as discussed in Hubert Dreyfus's book “What Computers Still Can't Do”). I have been exploring many different areas within the domain of artificial intelligence (such as neural networks, genetic algorithms, and natural language processing). The bottom line is that I want to be a part of this exciting field.
Over the summer I traveled to Russia , and thoroughly enjoyed exploring a very different part of the world.
My other interests include current affairs and sports, such as football, tennis and general fitness. Ever since the start of sixth form I have been a successful member of the college football team. I have played basketball as an enrichment activity because it was a new sport to me at the beginning of sixth form. I also parti***ted in a 5-a-side indoor football tournament at the college. In addition to pursuing my academic studies I would like to continue some of these sports at university.
http://www.pre-mbaclub.com/info_detail.asp?id=11080
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