|
公告
日历
| | 日 | 一 | 二 | 三 | 四 | 五 | 六 |
|---|
| 28 | 29 | 30 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 1 | | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
|
导航
最新随笔
留言簿
我的标签
随笔分类
随笔档案
文章分类
文章档案
收藏夹
2008全国中考试题精选
Blog
Entertainment
HJ Blogs
Movie
TEST (PET/CET...)
Tutor
杂类
最新评论
阅读排行榜
评论排行榜
|
2008年9月19日
今天做完一个小时后，AUNT主动问我钱的事，完后问了她女儿的情况，我很老实地回答：基础差，要加强记单词。好像都没说什么好话，想当初她说她女儿说得那么好，我这不是在，，，
2008年9月12日
2008年9月4日
2008年9月1日
2008年8月28日
经过前天的经历，宣今天把电话和地址都搞清楚了，然后顺利到达那个阿姨家，
家长都蛮热情的，就是小孩子不知道怎么相处好，一副没睡醒的样子，问话又不答，比较难搞，据说是比较懒，她妈妈说妈小学的时候英语成绩很好，还能跟外国人对话，就是上初中后，可能是词汇太多，成绩跌了好多。我暗想，还能跟外国人交流这么厉害，似乎不用我教了吧。
心里真的很没底！
有什么方法可以帮助这个初中生呢？
2008年6月27日
tip line 热线
anchorman主持人
owesome帅呆了
decadent, immoral, Western filth! 堕落的,邪恶的,西方腐朽文化!
2008年6月19日
NO2:治疗皮肤过敏、去痘
材料：珍珠粉4克左右，鸡蛋清。 搅和搅和。 尽量涂厚一点，不然会很快干掉，我用勺子涂的，一边涂一边滴答，哈哈听起来够恶心的吧，15-20分钟后洗掉，之后皮肤变得很滑很滑，其他感觉没有，要长期做，不过珍珠粉好象有镇静的效果，因为过敏的包包好了很多，脸上有豆豆的JM可以试一下
NO8:口含珍珠粉：
将0．3克珍珠粉倒入舌下，抿含4—5分钟，然后用温水清洁口腔。
作用：长期服用，可促进睡眠，保持肌肤健康润泽
巧用珍珠粉5步去黑头
用珍珠粉可以很好地清除老化角质和黑头。其具体作法如下：
一、在药店选购质量上乘的内服珍珠粉。
二、取适量珍珠粉放入小碟中，加入适量清水，将珍珠粉调成膏状。
三、将调好的珍珠粉均匀地涂在脸上。
四、用脸部按摩的手法在脸上按摩，直到脸上的珍珠粉变干，再用清水将脸洗净即可。
五、此法每周可用两次。能很好地去除老化的角质和黑头。
特别提醒
想把黑头清除而不想毛孔变大，不论用何种方法，事前最好先蒸一蒸面，令毛孔自然张开，除了有助于排出毒素外，也有助于清洁。清除完黑头后，最好用冰冻蒸馏水或爽肤水敷于鼻子和T字部位，除能镇静皮肤外，还可以收缩毛孔。
Source from:
http://lady.qq.com/a/20050818/000026_3.htm
1
Here it is!
2
Thanks.
3
Did you guys sign it?
4
Did you sign the card?
5
And five and four and--
6
Hey, girls, sign!
7
All right! Here you go!
8
- Elle's gonna love it!
- Thanks.
9
You go, girl!
10
Hi, girls! Here, sign!
11
Thanks!
12
There she is.
13
Thank you.
14
I love that restaurant!
15
I heard Madonna
went into labor there.
16
Oh, gosh!
I have to go shopping!
17
I'll see you tonight. Bye.
18
Bruiser, what's this?
19
"Good luck tonight.
Elle and Warner forever."
20
Oh, that's so cute.
21
Oh, my gosh!
You guys are so sweet!
22
But I'm not positive
it'll happen tonight.
23
Hello! He just had lunch
with his grandmother.
24
You know he got the rock.
25
Why else would she have flown in
from Newport?
26
It's not like she'd Fed Ex
a six-carat diamond.
27
Do you really think?
28
I can't believe
you're getting engaged!
29
Oh, my gosh...
30
you guys have to help me
pick out the perfect outfit.
31
Come on!
32
I think you should go
with the red.
33
It's the color of confidence.
34
I don't understand
why you're disregarding...
35
your signature color.
36
He's proposing. I can't look
like I would on any other date.
37
This is the date--
the night I'll always remember.
38
I want to look special.
39
Bridal.
40
But not like I expect anything.
41
There's nothing I love more...
42
than a dumb blonde
with daddy's plastic.
43
Did you see this one?
We just got it in yesterday.
44
Is this low-viscosity rayon?
45
Yes. Of course.
46
With a half-loop
top-stitching on the hem?
47
Absolutely. It's one of a kind.
48
It's impossible to use
a half-loop top-stitching...
49
on low-viscosity rayon.
It would snag the fabric.
50
And you didn't just get it in.
51
I saw it in the June Vogue
a year ago.
52
So if you're trying to sell it
for full price...
53
you picked the wrong girl.
54
Girls, this is it.
55
In a few hours...
56
I'll be the future
Mrs. Warner Huntington III.
57
Wow. You look so beautiful.
58
So do you.
59
Let's get out of here.
60
Must be strange
having such perfect eyes.
61
God, you're so wonderful.
Elle, thank you.
62
Here's to us.
63
To us.
64
One of the reasons I wanted
to come here tonight...
65
was to discuss our future.
66
And I am fully amenable
to that discussion.
67
Good. You know how
we've been having...
68
all kinds of fun lately?
69
Well, Harvard
is gonna be different.
70
Law school is
a completely different world...
71
and I need to be serious.
72
Of course.
73
My family expects a lot from me.
74
- Right.
- I expect a lot from me.
75
I plan on running
for office someday.
76
I fully support that.
You know that.
77
Absolutely.
But the thing is...
78
if I'm going to be a senator
by the time I'm thirty...
79
I need to stop dicking around.
80
Warner, I completely agree.
81
That's why I think
it's time for us...
82
Elle, pooh bear...
83
- I do.
- I think we should break up.
84
What?
85
I've been thinking,
and it's the right thing to do.
86
You're breaking up with me?
87
I thought you were proposing.
88
Proposing?
89
Elle, if I'm going to be
a senator...
90
I need to marry a Jackie,
not a Marilyn.
91
You're breaking up with me
because I'm too blonde?
92
No. That's not entirely true.
93
Then what?
My boobs are too big?
94
Elle, your boobs are fine.
95
So when you said
that you would always love me...
96
you were just dicking around?
97
Elle, I do love you.
98
I just can't marry you.
99
You have no idea
of the pressure that I am under.
100
My family has
five generations of senators.
101
My brother's in the top three
at Yale Law.
102
He just got engaged to
a Vanderbilt,for Christ's sake.
103
Bad salad.
104
Sweetie...
105
Pooh bear?
106
It's not like I have a choice
here, sweetheart!
107
You get the car,
I'll get the check.
108
I won't be having the salad.
109
Let me take you home.
110
Elle, believe me.
I never expected to do this...
111
but I think
it's the right thing.
112
How can it be the right thing
when we're not together?
113
I have to think of my future...
114
and what my family expects
of me.
115
So you're breaking up with me...
116
because you're afraid
your family won't like me?
117
Everybody likes me.
118
East Coast people are different.
119
Because I'm not a Vanderbilt,
suddenly I'm white trash?
120
I grew up in Bel Air!
121
Across the street
from Aaron Spelling!
122
Most people would agree
that's a lot better...
123
than some stinky old Vanderbilt!
124
I told you.
I need someone serious.
125
But I'm seriously in love
with you.
126
Isn't that enough?
127
Pooh bear, just get in the car.
128
You'll ruin your shoes.
129
Morning, Amy.
130
Elle, it's Amy.
131
I'm having trouble
with this whole lip-liner thing.
132
- Sweetie, didn't you hear?
- Hear what?
133
It's terrible.
He dumped her.
134
Why me?
135
Because you're not gonna
remember anything after tonight.
136
Oh, you're wrong.
137
I will remember, no matter what.
138
And I'm never gonna lose you
again.
139
You couldn't.
140
You're a part of me.
141
I love you.
142
Liar!
143
Honey,
you have to leave this room.
144
It's been, like, a week.
145
- So?
- Drink this.
146
What always makes us
feel better...
147
no matter what?
148
She had eight
grilled cheese sandwiches.
149
She stuffed them
in her mouth all at once.
150
It was so sad.
151
We thought she'd be the first
to walk down the aisle...
152
and now she's totally adrift.
153
Totally.
154
She hasn't conditioned
her hair in a week.
155
Maybe she's going
for the grunge look.
156
And her nails
are full-on chipped.
157
So trailer park.
158
Oh, my God!
Do you know who this is?
159
- That's Warner's older brother!
- Who?
160
"Third year Yale Law student
Putnam Bowes Huntington III...
161
"and his fiancee
Layne Walker Vanderbilt...
162
"first year Yale Law."
163
This is the type of girl
that Warner wants to marry!
164
This is what I need to become
to be serious!
165
What?
Practically deformed?
166
No. A law student.
167
Law school?
168
It's a perfectly
respectable place, daddy.
169
Honey,
you were first runner up...
170
at the Miss Hawaiian Tropics
contest.
171
Why are you gonna
throw that all away?
172
Going to Harvard
is the only way...
173
I'll get
the love of my life back.
174
Sweetheart,
you don't need law school.
175
Law school is for people...
176
who are boring and ugly
and serious.
177
And you, Button,
are none of those things.
178
Harvard Law School?
179
That's right.
180
But that's a top three school.
181
Oh, I have a 4.0.
182
Yes, but your major
is fashion merchandising.
183
Harvard won't be impressed that
you aced History of Polka Dots.
184
What are your back-ups?
185
I don't need back-ups.
I'm going to Harvard.
186
Well, then, you'll need...
187
excellent recommendations
from your professors.
188
And a heck
of an admissions essay.
189
Right.
190
And at least a 175
on your LSATs.
191
I once had to judge
a tighty-whitey contest...
192
for Lambda Kappa Pi.
193
Trust me, I can handle anything.
194
Thanks!
195
You're welcome.
196
Because I have a metrabolism--
197
- I have a really high metrab--
- It's metabol...
198
Oh, my God.
199
What are you doing?
200
Reading about the LSATs.
201
My cousin had that.
202
Apparently, you get
a really bad rash on your...
203
The LSATs are an exam.
204
Girls, I'm going to Harvard!
205
- You mean like on vay-kay?
- Let's all go!
206
Road trip!
207
No. I'm going
to Harvard Law School.
208
Why?
209
Elle, now, I know
you're upset about all this...
210
but can't you just take
a Percoset?
211
Once Warner sees me
as a serious law student...
212
he'll totally want me back.
213
It's a completely brilliant
plan!
214
But isn't it hard
to get into law school?
215
I had the highest GPA
in Delta Nu.
216
Oh, well.
Here, you're gonna need this.
217
Your scrunchy?
218
My lucky scrunchy.
It helped me pass Spanish.
219
You passed Spanish because
you gave Professor Montoya...
220
a lap dance after the final.
221
Yeah...luckily.
222
My name is Elle Woods,
and for my admissions essay...
223
I'm gonna tell all of you
at Harvard...
224
why I'm gonna make
an amazing lawyer.
225
As president of my sorority...
226
I'm skilled at commanding
the attention of a room...
227
and discussing
very important issues.
228
It has come to my attention
that the maintenance staff...
229
is switching our toilet paper
from Charmin...
230
to generic.
231
All those opposed to chafing
please say "aye."
232
A--neither type of opera...
233
or neither type of rap
is on sale.
234
B--neither type of jazz...
235
and neither type of opera
is on sale.
236
C--neither type of opera
and neither type of soul--
237
Party!
Delta Nu, we love you!
238
I'm able to recall
hundreds of important details...
239
at the drop of a hat.
240
Hey, Elle,
do you know what happened...
241
on Days of Our Lives yesterday?
242
Why, yes, Margot, I do.
243
Once again, we join Hope
in the search for her identity.
244
As you know, she's been
brainwashed by the evil Stefano.
245
Get set and go!
246
One forty-three.
247
I feel comfortable using
legal jargon in everyday life.
248
I object!
249
It's here!
250
- What?
- It's here!
251
The LSAT scores! It's here!
252
Open the scores!
253
What's the score?
254
- This is so exciting.
- Tell us!
255
What is it?
256
One seventy-nine!
257
One seventy-nine!
258
And that's why
you should vote for me...
259
Elle Woods,future lawyer
for the class of 2004.
260
She does have a 4.0 from CULA...
261
and she got a 179 on her LSATs.
262
A fashion major?
263
Well, sir,
we've never had one before...
264
and aren't we always
looking for diversity?
265
Her list of extracurricular
activities is impressive.
266
She was in a Ricky Martin video.
267
Clearly,
she's interested in music.
268
She also designed
a line of faux fur panties...
269
for her sorority's
charity project.
270
She's a friend to the animals
as well as a philanthropist.
271
Elle Woods...
272
welcome to Harvard.
273
Bruiser, it's so exciting!
Look! Harvard!
274
Are you excited?
275
This is our new house
for the next three years.
276
Are you thirsty?
277
Let's get you some water.
278
Sweetheart,
you just look parched.
279
Hey, Brad,
check out Malibu Barbie!
280
Where's the beach, honey?
281
Here you go.
282
Good boy. Warner's gonna be
so excited to see you.
283
Guys, this way.
284
- This ain't L.A.!
- Come on, Bruiser.
285
Check her out.
Look at the way she walks.
286
It's gonna be so exciting.
287
Now, don't be scared.
Everyone will love you.
288
Hi. Woods, comma, Elle.
289
Class schedule, map, book list.
290
Wait a second. My social events
calendar is missing.
291
Your what?
292
Social events--
you know, mixers,formals...
293
clambakes, trips to the Cape.
294
Has Warner Huntington III
checked in yet?
295
Maybe you should check
with the cruise director...
296
on the Lido deck.
297
Welcome to law school.
298
This is the part where
we go around in a circle...
299
and everyone says a little bit
about themselves.
300
Let's start with you.
301
My name is David Kidney.
302
I have a masters
in Russian literature...
303
a Ph.D in biochemistry...
304
and for the last
eighteen months...
305
I've been deworming orphans
in Somalia.
306
Awesome. What about you?
307
Hey. How you doing?
I'm Enid Wexler.
308
I got a Ph.D. from Berkeley
in women's studies...
309
emphasis
in the history of combat...
310
and last year,
I single-handedly organized...
311
the march for
Lesbians Against Drunk Driving.
312
- Killer.
- Thanks. Good times.
313
Aaron Mitchell.
314
I graduated first in my class
from Princeton.
315
I have an I.Q. of 187...
316
and it's been suggested
that Stephen Hawking...
317
stole
his Brief History of Time...
318
from my fourth grade paper.
319
Cool.
320
- Me?
- Yeah.
321
Hi. I'm Elle Woods
and this is Bruiser Woods...
322
and we're both
Gemini vegetarians.
323
I have a bachelor's degree
in fashion merchandising...
324
from CULA, and I was
a Zeta Lambda Nu sweetheart...
325
president of my sorority,
Delta Nu...
326
and last year,
I was homecoming queen.
327
Two weeks ago I saw
Cameron Diaz at Fred Segal...
328
and I talked her
out of buying...
329
this truly heinous
angora sweater.
330
Whoever said orange was the new
pink was seriously disturbed.
331
Wish me luck, Bruiser.
332
This is my first class
as a serious law student.
333
I totally look the part.
334
There is no way
she got in here on her own.
335
I totally forgot you go here.
336
What are you talking about?
337
I'm sorry.
Are you here to see me?
338
No, silly. I go here.
339
You go where?
340
Harvard. Law school.
341
You got into Harvard Law?
342
What, like it's hard?
343
Oh, my gosh, Warner,
it'll be so great.
344
I'm planning this great mixer.
You have to help me.
345
I'm thinking like
a luau or casino night.
346
It'll be just like senior year
except funner.
347
Time to go.
I have to go to class...
348
but meet me after
on the benches.
349
All right, bye!
350
A legal education
means you will learn...
351
to speak in a new language.
352
You will be taught
to achieve insight...
353
into the world around you...
354
and to sharply question
what you know.
355
The seat you have picked
will be yours...
356
for the next nine months
of your life.
357
And those of you
in the front row...
358
beware.
359
"The law is reason
free from passion."
360
Does anyone know
who spoke those immortal words?
361
- Yes?
- Aristotle.
362
Are you sure?
363
Would you be willing
to stake your life on it?
364
I think so.
365
What about his life?
366
I don't know.
367
Well, I recommend
knowing before speaking.
368
The law leaves much room
for interpretation...
369
but very little for self-doubt.
370
And you were right.
371
And you were right.
372
It was Aristotle.
373
Good job.
374
Now, I assume all of you
have read pages 1-48...
375
and are now well-versed
in subject matter jurisdiction.
376
Who can tell us about
Gordon vs. Steele?
377
Let's call on someone
from the hot zone.
378
Elle Woods?
379
Actually, I wasn't aware
that we had an assignment.
380
Vivian Kensington.
381
Do you think it's acceptable
that Ms. Woods is not prepared?
382
I don't.
383
Would you support my decision
to ask her to leave class...
384
and to return
only when she is prepared?
385
Absolutely.
386
Now, Ms. Kensington...
387
did diversity jurisdiction
exist in this case?
388
No, it did not.
389
Good. How about in the case
of Owens vs. McCullogh?
390
I can't believe that girl.
391
So stupid!
392
Who does she think she is?
393
Excuse me. Are you OK?
394
Do they put you on the spot
like that all the time?
395
The professors?
396
They tend to do that.
Socratic method.
397
If you don't know the answers,
they just kick you out?
398
You have Stromwell, huh?
399
Yes!
Did she do that to you, too?
400
No.
But she did make me cry once.
401
Not in class. I waited
till I got back to my room...
402
but she'll kick you
right in the ball--
403
Or wherever, you know.
404
She's really tough.
405
Great.
406
Don't worry, it gets better.
Who else do you have?
407
I have Callahan, Royalton,
and Levinthal.
408
Let's see, speak up
in Callahan's class.
409
He really likes people
that are opinionated.
410
And in Royalton's class...
411
try to get a seat in the back.
412
He spits when he talks
about products liability.
413
And for Levinthal, make sure
you read the footnotes.
414
That's where he gets
a lot of his exam questions.
415
Right.
416
Wow.
I'm really glad I met you.
417
Are you a third year?
418
- Well--
- Hey, Elle.
419
Hi!
Thanks for all your help.
420
Good luck.
421
So...
422
how was your first class?
423
It was good, except for
this horrible preppy girl...
424
who made me look bad
in front of the professor.
425
But no biggie.
426
You're here now.
So, how was your summer?
427
Good. It was good.
428
Did you do anything exciting?
429
Have you met Vivian?
430
Hi. Vivian Kensington.
431
Do you know her?
432
- She's--
- I'm his fiancee.
433
I'm sorry.
I just hallucinated. What?
434
She was my girlfriend
in prep school.
435
And, well, we got back together
this summer...
436
at my grandmother's
birthday party.
437
Warner told me all about you.
438
You're famous at our club.
439
But he didn't tell me
you'd be here.
440
Pooh bear,
I didn't know she would be here.
441
Excuse me.
442
Oh, thank God!
443
Are you free?
It's an emergency.
444
Bad day?
445
You can't even imagine.
446
Spill.
447
I worked so hard
to get into law school.
448
I blew off Greek week
to study for the LSATs.
449
I even hired a Coppola
to direct my admissions video.
450
All to get
my boyfriend Warner back.
451
And now he's engaged
to this awful girl Vivian...
452
so it was all for nothing,
and I...
453
I just wish...
454
I just wish
I had never gone to Harvard.
455
After you went
to all that trouble.
456
He's engaged!
457
She's got
the six-carat Harry Winston...
458
on her bony, unpolished finger.
459
What am I supposed to do?
460
You're asking the wrong girl.
461
I mean, I'm with my guy
eight years...
462
and then one day, it's...
463
"I met someone else.
Move out."
464
Oh, no. That's awful.
465
Dewey kept the trailer
and my precious baby Rufus.
466
I didn't even get to throw him
a birthday party.
467
What's a girl to do?
468
He's a guy
who followed his pecker...
469
to greener pastures...
470
and I'm a middle-aged
high-school dropout...
471
who's got stretch marks
and a fat ass.
472
That's terrible.
473
Yep. Happens every day.
474
So what's this Vivian got
that you don't have?
475
Three tits?
476
She's from Connecticut.
477
She belongs
to his stupid country club.
478
Is she as pretty as you?
479
She could use some mascara
and some serious highlights...
480
but she's not completely
unfortunate looking.
481
Hello, ladies.
482
Hello, ladies.
483
- Hey, there.
- How you doing? Sign here.
484
Oh, jeez.
485
Look what I did.
486
- See you later.
- Bye-bye, sugar.
487
Aw, shit.
488
Could I have been
any more goddamn spastic?
489
It's OK.
490
Are you sure this
Warner guy is, like, the one?
491
Definitely. I love him.
492
Well, if a girl like you
can't hold on to her man...
493
then there sure as hell isn't
any hope for the rest of us.
494
What are you waiting for?
495
Steal the bastard back.
496
I should warn you...
497
I should warn you...
498
that in addition to competing
against each other...
499
for the top grade
in this class...
500
you will also be competing
for one of my firm's...
501
highly coveted four
internship spots next year...
502
where you will get to assist
on actual cases.
503
Let the bloodbath begin.
504
Now, let's commence
with our usual torture.
505
Ms. Woods...
506
would you rather have a client
who committed a crime...
507
malum in se
or malum prohibitum?
508
Neither.
509
And why is that?
510
I would rather have a client
who's innocent.
511
Dare to dream, Ms. Woods.
512
Ms. Kensington,
which would you prefer?
513
Malum prohibitum.
514
Because then the client
would have committed...
515
a regulatory infraction as
opposed to a dangerous crime.
516
Well done, Ms. Kensington.
517
You've obviously done
your homework.
518
Now let us look
at malum prohibitum...
519
a little more closely.
520
It has been said--
Yes, Ms. Woods?
521
I changed my mind.
I'd pick the dangerous one...
522
'cause I'm not afraid
of a challenge.
523
Who is that?
524
Wow.
525
Guys.
526
- Can she play?
- Hi!
527
Get outta here.
528
- Hi, everybody.
- Elle, what are you doing here?
529
I've come to join
your study group.
530
Look, I brought sustenance.
Who's first?
531
Our group is full.
532
Is this like an RSVP thing?
533
No. It's like
a smart people thing.
534
And as Viv said, we're full.
535
Come on, we can make room
for one more.
536
We've already assigned
the outlines.
537
The answer is no.
538
Oh, OK.
I'll just leave, then.
539
Hey, maybe
there's, like, a sorority...
540
you could, like,
join instead, like?
541
If you had come
to a rush party...
542
I would have at least
been nice to you.
543
Is that before
you voted against me...
544
and then called me a dyke
behind my back?
545
I don't use that word.
546
You must have heard it
from Vivian.
547
- Hello?
- Hey, it's me.
548
It's Elle! Guess what
I'm doing right this second!
549
I don't know. What?
550
I'm picking out
my wedding dress!
551
- What?
- Josh proposed!
552
Did you get the rock yet?
553
Almost.
554
Well, hurry up,
so you can come home!
555
We miss you!
556
I miss you guys, too.
The people here are so vile.
557
Hardly anybody speaks to me--
558
Oh, my God!
I almost forgot to tell you!
559
What?
560
I got bangs!
My hair is so now.
561
Really?
562
OK, so just listen to me.
563
Keep June 1st open,
you're one of my bridesmaids...
564
and give Warner our love...
565
because I'm getting married!
566
So don't forget. Eight o'clock
at 45 Dunston Street.
567
- It'll be a really nice party.
- We'll be there.
568
And don't forget
to bring your own merlot!
569
No way! Is somebody at this
school actually having a party?
570
Yes...
571
But it's a costume party.
572
You probably
wouldn't want to come.
573
I love costume parties.
574
Well, then I guess
we'll see you there.
575
Oh, at 45 Dunston Street.
576
Oh, my God!
577
Thanks for inviting me, girls.
This party is super fun.
578
Nice outfit.
579
I like your outfit, too.
580
Except when I dress up
as a frigid bitch...
581
I try not to look
so constipated.
582
Oh, she's horrible.
583
You've got the ring, sweetie.
584
- Nice ears.
- How you doing?
585
Warner,
the English language...
586
is all about
subliminal domination.
587
Take the word semester.
588
A perfect example
of this school's...
589
discriminatory preference
of semen to ovaries.
590
That's why I'm petitioning
to have next term...
591
be referred to
as the winter ovester.
592
- Excuse me. Hey, Warner.
- Wow!
593
Don't you look like
a walking felony?
594
Thank you. You're so sweet.
595
Are you having fun?
596
I am now.
What's with the costume?
597
I just decided to dress up.
598
Really.
599
I feel like we barely
get to see each other...
600
since we've been here.
601
I know. I'm so busy with
these case studies and hypos.
602
I know what you mean.
I can't imagine doing...
603
all this and Callahan's
internship next year.
604
That's gonna be so much.
605
Elle, come on,
you'll never get the grades...
606
to qualify
for one of those spots.
607
You're not smart enough,
sweetie.
608
Wait, am I on glue...
609
or did we not get into
the same law school?
610
Yeah, but--
611
But what?
We took the same LSATs...
612
and we're taking
the same classes.
613
I know, but come on,
Elle, be serious.
614
You can do something
more valuable with your time.
615
I'm never going to be
good enough for you, am I?
616
- Oh, come on.
- Just forget it!
617
I'll show you how valuable
Elle Woods can be!
618
- Don't ask.
- Wasn't gonna.
619
I love that sweater.
It's Chanel.
620
Look.
621
Was she carrying books?
622
Thanks.
623
So, you've filed a claim.
624
What next?
625
Ms. Woods?
626
Don't you need to have evidence?
627
Meaning?
628
Meaning you need
reasonable belief...
629
that your claim should have,
like, evidenciary support?
630
And what kind
of evidenciary support...
631
does this case require?
632
All sorts of things--
633
corrupt cops
who are wheeling and dealing...
634
And the purpose
of diminished capacity is?
635
To negate mens rea?
636
Are you ready?
637
Yes, you are!
638
Go. You can do this.
639
Listen to me, Dewey.
You shut your mouth.
640
No, you shut your big mouth.
641
I'm doing all the talking.
642
What the hell do you want?
643
We're eating lunch.
644
I just thought that...
645
You just thought
you could come here...
646
and show me what
I'm definitely not missing?
647
That's not why I came by.
648
How many times
you gonna come over here...
649
begging me
to take you back, huh?
650
I was...
651
Dewey Newcombe?
652
Who's asking?
653
I'm Elle Woods.
Miss Bonifante's attorney.
654
And I'm here to discuss
the legal situation at hand.
655
Come again?
656
Do you understand what
subject matter jurisdiction is?
657
- No.
- I didn't think so.
658
Well, due to habeas corpus...
659
you and Miss Bonifante
had a common law marriage...
660
which heretofore
entitles her...
661
to what is
legally referred to...
662
as equitable division
of the assets.
663
Come again?
664
Due to the fact that you've
retained this residence...
665
Miss Bonifante is entitled...
666
to full canine
property ownership...
667
and will be enforcing
said ownership right now.
668
Tell him, Paulette.
669
I'm taking the dog, dumbass!
670
That's awesome! We did it!
671
Come here.
672
Oh, my gosh, did you see him?
673
He's probably still
scratching his head.
674
Which must be a nice vacation
for his balls.
675
Thank you.
676
According to
Swinney vs. Neubert...
677
Swinney, who was also
a private sperm donor...
678
was allowed visitation rights
as long as he came to terms...
679
with the hours
set forth by the parents.
680
So, if we're sticking
to past precedent...
681
Mr. Latimer wasn't stalking.
682
He was clearly within his rights
to ask for visitation.
683
But Swinney was
a one-time sperm donor...
684
and our defendant
was an habitual sperm donor...
685
who also happens to be
harassing the parents...
686
in his quest for visitation.
687
But without this man's sperm...
688
the child in question
wouldn't exist.
689
Now you're
thinking like a lawyer.
690
Yes, Ms. Woods?
691
Although Mr. Huntington
makes an excellent point...
692
I have to wonder
if the defendant...
693
kept a thorough record
of every sperm emission...
694
made throughout his life.
695
Interesting. Why do you ask?
696
Unless the defendant
attempted to contact...
697
every single one-night stand
to determine...
698
if a child resulted
in those unions...
699
he has no parental claim
over this child whatsoever.
700
Why now? Why this sperm?
701
I see your point.
702
And for that matter,
all masturbatory emissions...
703
where his sperm was clearly
not seeking an egg...
704
could be termed
reckless abandonment.
705
I believe
you've just won your case.
706
Ms. Woods, you did well today.
707
Really?
708
You're applying
for my internship, aren't you?
709
I don't know.
710
You should.
Do you have a resume?
711
Yes, I do.
712
Here it is.
713
It's pink.
714
And it's scented.
715
I think it gives
it a little something extra.
716
See you next class.
717
Do you think she woke up
one morning and said...
718
"I think I'll go
to law school today."
719
That lapse in judgment aside...
720
I think
she's got a lot of potential.
721
Here's the Windham file.
722
Smell this.
723
What's that?
724
It's her resume.
725
Smells good.
726
What's going on?
727
Callahan's firm
is defending a murder trial.
728
His case load is so big,
he's taking first year interns.
729
He picked them already?
730
My God,
I can't believe it, Warner!
731
We got it!
732
That only leaves one for...
733
Me!
734
Yes!
735
Remember when we spent
those four amazing hours...
736
in the hot tub
after winter formal?
737
Yeah--No.
738
This is so much better
than that!
739
Excuse me.
I have some shopping to do.
740
Four hours?
741
You look very nice today,
Vivian.
742
Thank you.
743
You're welcome.
744
We're defending
Brooke Windham...
745
whose very wealthy husband
was found shot to death...
746
in their Beacon Hill mansion.
747
Gold digger?
748
You'd think so
since the stiff was 60...
749
but she was rich on her own.
750
Some kind of fitness empire.
751
You can buy her exercise tapes
on infomercials.
752
Are you talking about
Brooke Taylor?
753
Maiden name--Taylor.
754
You know her?
755
She's a Delta Nu!
756
She wasn't in my pledge class.
757
She graduated
four years before me.
758
But I used to take her class
at the Los Angeles Sports Club.
759
She's amazing!
760
Amazing? How?
761
She can make you lose
three pounds in one class.
762
She's completely gifted.
763
In all likelihood,
she's completely guilty.
764
She was seen standing over
her husband's dead body.
765
By who?
766
His 26-year-old daughter
and the pool boy.
767
Sorry, I'm late.
Excuse me.
768
This is Emmett Richmond,
another associate...
769
top three in his class...
770
and former editor of
"Harvard Law Review."
771
You've probably seen him...
772
lurking around campus
doing my research.
773
Thanks for the introduction.
774
What about the murder weapon?
775
The gun is missing.
776
The coroner said
he'd been dead 30 minutes...
777
when the cops arrived.
778
Giving Brooke
plenty of time to stash it.
779
I just don't think
Brooke could have done this.
780
Exercise gives you endorphins.
781
Endorphins make you happy.
782
Happy people
don't shoot their husbands.
783
They just don't.
784
I didn't do it.
785
I walked in...
786
I saw my husband
lying on the floor...
787
I bent down to check his heart,
screamed my head off...
788
then Enrique and Chutney
ran inside.
789
Your step-daughter
and the pool boy came in...
790
where they saw you
standing over the body...
791
covered in his blood.
792
Why would I kill my husband?
793
Insurance, a love affair,
pure unadulterated hatred.
794
The D.A. will come up
with plenty of reasons.
795
I loved him.
796
He was 34 years older
than you.
797
That doesn't
look so good to a jury.
798
Then show them
a picture of his dick.
799
That might clear
a few things up.
800
Brooke, I believe you...
801
but a jury
is going to want an alibi.
802
I can't give you that...
803
and if you put me
on the stand, I'll lie.
804
Then I guess
we're done for today.
805
I know you.
806
I'm a Delta Nu,
and I'm a huge fan of yours.
807
You took my class in L.A.
808
You took my class in L.A.
809
You had the best high-kick
I've ever seen.
810
Are you one of my lawyers?
811
Sort of.
812
Well, thank God
one of you has a brain.
813
Let's go.
814
I'm the only one
that believes her.
815
Callahan totally thinks
she's guilty.
816
That's because men are
big fat retards who don't--
817
Afternoon, ladies.
818
It's him.
819
Paulette Bonifante.
820
Oh, my God.
821
He's coming over here.
822
I've got a package.
823
He's got a package.
824
How you doing today?
825
Fine.
826
Take it easy.
827
See you later.
828
That's great, Paulette.
829
Is this the only interaction
you two have ever had?
830
No. Sometimes I say
"OK" instead of "fine."
831
Why don't you offer him
a cold beverage...
832
or a neck massage
or something?
833
What's the point?
834
Trust me, Paulette.
You have all the equipment...
835
you just need
to read the manual.
836
Do you know what I'm saying?
837
I'll show you
a little maneuver...
838
my mother taught me
in junior high.
839
In my experience,
it has a 98% success rate...
840
of getting a man's attention...
841
and when used appropriately...
842
it has an 83% rate of return
on a dinner invitation.
843
Wow!
844
It's called "the bend and snap."
845
Watch this.
846
"Oh! I think I dropped
something on the floor."
847
So you bend...and snap!
848
See?
849
Come on. You try it.
850
Bend...and snap!
851
OK...
852
a little less bend,
a little more snap.
853
Like this?
854
Good snap.
855
Come on.
856
You! Come on, you can do it.
857
Bend...and snap.
858
Very, very good.
859
We can all do it!
860
- Come on, guys.
- I can't do that.
861
You're gonna bend...
862
and snap!
863
Now put your head into it.
864
Bend...and snap!
865
Bend...and snap! Good job!
866
A little attitude, please.
867
Now, everybody smile.
That's very important.
868
Pump! Pump! Pump!
869
Bend...and snap!
870
Good job, everybody!
871
Work it out! Work it out!
872
That's it! Wow!
873
Come on, Paulette!
874
Bend and snap!
875
Oh, my God! The bend and snap!
Works every time!
876
If Brooke didn't kill the guy,
then who did?
877
My money is on the angry
daughter or the ex-wife.
878
Chutney has a trust fund.
879
She didn't need the insurance
pay off or the inheritance.
880
What about the mother?
881
Covered.
She was in Aspen at the time.
882
Vivian, get me some plum sauce.
883
Ten people saw her
downing cosmopolitans...
884
at the Caribou Club.
885
All I know is it's not Brooke.
886
That's touching,
but we need an alibi.
887
I brought you
some necessities--
888
some Calvin Klein
720-count sheets...
889
the entire Clinique
skin care line...
890
some aromatherapy candles,
a loofah...
891
And the Bible.
892
You're an angel.
893
So how are you?
Are you all right?
894
You look so...orange.
895
I'm just glad
it's you and not Callahan.
896
He means well.
He's very brilliant.
897
He better be for what
I'm paying for him.
898
I have to tell you
the real reason I came here.
899
Professor Callahan says
we really need your alibi.
900
Elle, I can't.
901
You don't understand.
902
Who could understand
better than me?
903
It's so shameful.
904
Whatever it is, Brooke,
it could save you.
905
That's just it.
It would ruin me.
906
How?
907
I've made my fortune
on the ability...
908
to perfect women's bodies with
Brooke's Butt-Buster workout.
909
You helped me
go from a six to a four.
910
That's great!
911
On the day of
Heyworth's murder...
912
I was getting...
913
What?
914
I was getting liposuction.
915
Liposuction!
916
Oh, God!
917
I know! I'm a fraud!
918
It's not like normal women
can have this ass!
919
If my fans
knew that I bought it...
920
I would lose everything!
921
I've already lost my husband.
922
I'd rather go to jail
than lose my reputation.
923
Brooke...
your secret's safe with me.
924
Thank you.
925
Vivian, grab me some coffee.
926
We got two interviews
tomorrow...
927
that Gerard and Bobby
will handle.
928
The ex-wife in an hour.
929
According to this communique
from the prison...
930
our client apparently
had a visit from her sister...
931
a Miss Delta Nu.
932
Anyone you know?
933
Yes. I went to visit her.
934
What the hell do you mean
you went to visit her?
935
I went to get her alibi.
936
Did you get it?
937
It's really good.
938
Great. What is it?
939
I can't tell you.
940
Why the hell not?
941
Because I promised her
I'd keep it a secret...
942
and I can't break the bonds
of sisterhood.
943
Screw sisterhood!
This is a murder trial...
944
not some scandal
at the sorority house.
945
I want the alibi!
946
I can't give it to you...
947
but I can tell you
she is innocent.
948
Mrs. Windham Vandermark
is on line two for you.
949
Someone reason with her
while I take this.
950
Are you crazy?
Just tell him the alibi.
951
We'll lose this case
if you don't.
952
Then we're not
very good lawyers.
953
If you tell him, he'll probably
hire you as a summer associate.
954
Who cares about Brooke?
Think about yourself.
955
Who cares about Brooke?
Think about yourself.
956
I gave her my word, Warner.
957
So what?
958
The ex-wife seems
to be unconcerned...
959
with the fact
that her interview is today.
960
She's at a spa
in the Berkshires.
961
A spa? Isn't that
like your mothership?
962
I could go if you want me to.
963
Emmett? Go with her.
964
She seems completely
untrustworthy to me.
965
Why?
966
This is a person
who's made her living...
967
by telling women
that they're too fat.
968
Brooke would never tell
a woman she was too fat.
969
And she seems like
she's hiding something.
970
Maybe it's not what you think.
971
Maybe it's exactly what I think.
972
You're really being a butthead.
973
A butthead?
974
Why would you call me that?
975
You need to have
a little more faith in people.
976
You might be surprised.
977
I can't believe
you called me a butthead.
978
No one's called me that
since the ninth grade.
979
Maybe not to your face.
980
So this is what a spa
looks like. Wow.
981
How do we find her?
982
I called ahead.
She's in the mud room.
983
She's not naked, is she?
984
Mrs. Windham Vandermark?
985
So you found me.
986
We're from Austen, Platt,
Jaret, and Callahan...
987
and we're here to ask you
a few questions.
988
So I hear that little tart
from California...
989
shot poor Heyworth.
990
That's what we're trying
to prove didn't happen.
991
Do you have any reason
to believe that it did?
992
I've never
actually met the woman...
993
but my daughter tells me...
994
she can be
quite the little bitch.
995
Did your daughter
ever mention anything...
996
about the relationship
between Brooke and Heyworth?
997
She did say that
they humped like gorillas.
998
I guess it wasn't enough,
though,for Brooke.
999
Why do you say that?
1000
Well...
1001
haven't you seen
the cabana boy?
1002
She's lying.
1003
And you know this for a fact?
1004
Did you see the icky
brown color of her hair?
1005
So? Now you discriminate
against brunettes?
1006
Why not? I'm discriminated
against as a blonde.
1007
Being a blonde is actually
a pretty powerful thing.
1008
You hold more cards
than you think you do.
1009
I personally would like
to see you take that power...
1010
and channel it
towards the greater good.
1011
Thanks.
I'll see you tomorrow.
1012
All right.
1013
How do you think
I'd look as a blonde?
1014
I'm not sure
you could handle it.
1015
- Good night.
- Bye.
1016
So, I called your room
last night.
1017
I heard.
1018
I was thinking maybe
we could go out sometime.
1019
No. You're a dork.
1020
I'm in law school.
1021
Look, I'm not going out
with you.
1022
I can't believe you'd even ask.
1023
Girls like me don't go out
with losers like you.
1024
Let's get out of here.
1025
Excuse me.
1026
Why didn't you call me?
1027
What?
1028
We spent a beautiful
night together...
1029
and I never hear from you again?
1030
I...
1031
I'm sorry?
1032
Sorry for what?
For breaking my heart...
1033
or for giving me
the greatest pleasure...
1034
I've ever known and then
just taking it away?
1035
Both?
1036
Well,forget it.
1037
I've spent too many hours
crying over you.
1038
So...when did
you want to go out?
1039
Come in.
1040
Are you done with
that deposition yet?
1041
Yeah. Here, take it.
1042
I've read it 20 times.
1043
You know, Elle,
I still can't believe...
1044
you didn't tell
Callahan the alibi.
1045
It's not my alibi to tell.
1046
I know.
1047
And I thought
that was very classy of you.
1048
Really?
1049
Sure.
1050
Thanks.
1051
Did you ever notice how
Callahan never asks Warner...
1052
to bring him his coffee?
1053
He's asked me at least
ten times.
1054
Men are helpless.
You know that.
1055
I know. Warner doesn't
even do his own laundry.
1056
He has to have it sent out.
1057
I know.
1058
Did you know
when he first applied...
1059
he got wait-listed.
1060
What?
1061
His father had to make a call.
1062
You're kidding.
1063
No way!
1064
God, that is
such a precious dog.
1065
His name is Bruiser.
Do you want to hold him?
1066
- He's very friendly.
- Sure.
1067
Look, he likes you.
1068
He's giving me kisses.
1069
Thanks, Jeoff.
1070
We're here today covering
the trial of Brooke Windham.
1071
She's charged with
the murder of her husband...
1072
Boston millionaire
Heyworth Windham.
1073
First to testify are the
victim's daughter and ex-wife.
1074
The Superior Court of Suffolk
County is now in session.
1075
The Honorable Judge
Marina R. Bickford presiding.
1076
You may be seated.
1077
And where was she exactly?
1078
Standing over
my father's dead body.
1079
And what was
the defendant doing?
1080
She was sitting
next to the pool, topless...
1081
while the Latin boy
handed her a drink.
1082
Mr. Salvatore,
can you tell us what this is?
1083
My uniform.
1084
My uniform.
1085
This is the uniform...
1086
Mrs. Windham asked you to wear
while cleaning her pool?
1087
Are you having an affair
with Brooke Windham?
1088
Define "affair."
1089
Have you and Mrs. Windham
had sexual relations?
1090
Yes. OK? Yes.
1091
Ladies and gentlemen,
court will reconvene...
1092
tomorrow morning at 9 A.M.
1093
We're adjourned.
1094
A Delta Nu would never sleep
with a man who wears a thong.
1095
Never!
1096
I just liked watching
him clean the filter.
1097
I believe you, Brooke.
1098
- Take care of me, Elle.
- I will.
1099
I got a big one for you.
1100
Can you sign?
1101
I got it.
1102
You broke his nose?
1103
I blew it, Elle.
1104
My snap was
all over the place.
1105
I'll be there
as soon as court is out.
1106
We have to
cross-examine Enrique.
1107
But don't worry.
My girlfriend Serena...
1108
barfed on a guy during
"The Blair Witch Project"...
1109
and they ended up dating
for three months.
1110
Really?
All right. Bye-bye.
1111
OK. Bye.
1112
Don't stomp your little
last-season Prada shoes at me.
1113
These aren't last season.
1114
- He's gay! Enrique's gay!
- What?
1115
What kind of shoes are these?
1116
Black ones.
1117
- See!
- What are you talking about?
1118
He isn't Brooke's lover.
He's making it up.
1119
Back up.
How do you know he's gay?
1120
Gay men know designers.
Straight men don't.
1121
Know what?
1122
He left a Cher tape
in the pool house one time.
1123
While I appreciate
your masterful legal theory...
1124
I have a murder trial
to attend to.
1125
I'll take care of it.
Thanks.
1126
The court will come to order.
1127
Mr. Salvatore,
do you have any proof...
1128
that you and Mrs. Windham
were having an affair?
1129
Only the love in my heart.
1130
If that's all the proof
that he has, Your Honor...
1131
I think I'm done here.
1132
You may step down.
1133
I'd like to ask a couple
of questions, Your Honor.
1134
Just give me a couple minutes.
1135
Did you ever take
Mrs. Windham on a date?
1136
- Yes.
- Where?
1137
A restaurant where
no one could recognize us.
1138
How long have you been
sleeping with Mrs. Windham?
1139
Three months.
1140
- And your boyfriend's name is...
- Chuck.
1141
Silence!
1142
Pardon me!
1143
Yes, Mr. Salvatore?
1144
I was confused.
1145
I thought you said friend.
Chuck is just a friend.
1146
You bitch!
1147
Chuck, wait!
1148
Silence in my court!
Sit down, Mr. Salvatore.
1149
Silence in my courtroom!
1150
How did I miss that?
You were great.
1151
Silence in my courtroom!
1152
Thanks.
1153
- Good night.
- Good night.
1154
Callahan asked to see you
before you leave.
1155
Really?
1156
He already has coffee,
but maybe he needs a doughnut.
1157
- Do you need any help?
- No. I'm fine.
1158
OK. Bye.
1159
Come on in.
1160
Sit down.
1161
Is everything all right?
1162
You followed
your intuition today...
1163
and you were right on target.
1164
I should have listened.
1165
Thank you.
1166
About the alibi...
1167
I'm sorry--
1168
I'm impressed you took
the initiative to go get it.
1169
That's what makes a good lawyer.
1170
On top of that,
you gained the client's trust...
1171
and kept it--that's what
makes a great lawyer.
1172
You're smart, Elle.
1173
Smarter than most of
the guys on my payroll.
1174
Wow.
1175
I think it's time
to discuss your career path.
1176
Have you thought about where
you might be a summer associate?
1177
Not really.
1178
I know it's very competitive.
1179
You know what competition's
really about?
1180
It's about ferocity, carnage.
1181
Balancing human intelligence
with animal diligence.
1182
Knowing exactly what you want...
1183
and how far you'll go
to get it.
1184
How far will Elle go?
1185
Are you hitting on me?
1186
You're a beautiful girl.
1187
So everything you just said...
1188
I'm a man
who knows what he wants.
1189
And I'm a law student
who just realized...
1190
her professor
is a pathetic asshole.
1191
Too bad. I thought
you were a law student...
1192
who wanted to be a lawyer!
1193
You almost had me fooled.
1194
What?
1195
Maybe you should sleep
with the jury, too.
1196
Then we can win the case.
1197
I'm quitting.
1198
Why?
1199
Law school was a mistake.
This internship was a mistake.
1200
What are you talking about?
You earned it.
1201
I didn't earn anything.
1202
Callahan only gave me
that internship...
1203
because he liked the way
I looked.
1204
Which he made clear tonight
when he tried to feel me up.
1205
Callahan did what?
1206
Just forget about it.
I'm going back to L.A.
1207
No more boring suits.
No more pantyhose.
1208
No more trying to be
something that I'm just--
1209
I'm just not.
1210
What if you're trying
to be somebody you are?
1211
The hell with Callahan.
1212
Stay.
1213
Call me if you're ever
in California.
1214
What's the point in staying,
Paulette?
1215
All people see
when they look at me...
1216
is blond hair and big boobs.
1217
No one's ever gonna
take me seriously.
1218
The people at law school don't.
Warner doesn't.
1219
I don't think my own parents
take me seriously.
1220
I just felt, like,
for the first time...
1221
that someone expected me to...
1222
to do something more
with my life...
1223
than become
a Victoria's Secret model.
1224
But I was just kidding myself.
1225
Callahan never saw me
as a lawyer...
1226
just as a piece of ass.
1227
Just like everybody else.
1228
Turns out I am a joke.
1229
No, you're not a joke.
1230
The hell with law school.
1231
I just wanted to say good-bye.
1232
If you're going to let one
stupid prick ruin your life...
1233
you're not the girl
I thought you were.
1234
Did you go in there knowing how
to discredit Mr. Salvatore?
1235
Absolutely.
1236
It's a little thing
I'd like to call strategy.
1237
I had a feeling
about Mr. Salvatore...
1238
Is he always such an ass?
1239
He's the top defense
attorney in the state.
1240
Of course he's an ass.
1241
Fine. Is he an ass
that'll win my case?
1242
He's an ass that'll try.
1243
He thinks I'm guilty.
1244
That's not what's important.
1245
If he doesn't trust me,
why should I trust him?
1246
Ask Elle. She looked pretty cozy
with him last night.
1247
You don't know what the hell
you're talking about.
1248
What's going on here?
1249
- Elle quit.
- What?
1250
Callahan hit on her,
so she quit.
1251
My God. Scumbag.
1252
- Oh, God.
- What?
1253
I feel terrible.
I made a huge mistake.
1254
Maybe there's something
we can do about it.
1255
Thank you.
1256
What are you so happy about?
You're on trial for murder.
1257
Get up.
1258
What?
1259
You're fired.
I have new representation.
1260
Who?
1261
Excuse you,
you're in my way.
1262
She's a law student.
She can't defend you.
1263
Massachusetts Supreme
Judicial Court ruling 3.03.
1264
See? Thank you, David.
1265
Counselors,
approach the bench.
1266
- You're not going up there.
- Yes, I am.
1267
Maybe you didn't hear me.
You're fired.
1268
Counselors, now.
All of you.
1269
Elle Woods, Your Honor.
1270
Rule 3.03 of
Supreme Judicial Court...
1271
states that a law student
may appear on behalf...
1272
of a defendant
in criminal proceedings.
1273
Your Honor,
I have no problem with this.
1274
I do.
I'm not allowing it.
1275
But you agreed last night.
In your office...
1276
when we were discussing
my career.
1277
The ruling also states...
1278
that you need a licensed
attorney to supervise you.
1279
- Mr. Callahan?
- That I won't agree to.
1280
I'll supervise, Your Honor.
1281
Well, Ms. Woods, proceed.
1282
Thank you, Your Honor.
1283
Enjoy prison.
1284
Mrs. Windham, you do realize
what you're doing?
1285
Absolutely.
1286
Oh, my God! There she is!
1287
We came to see your trial!
1288
Look how cute.
There's a judge and everything.
1289
- And jury people.
- Vote for Elle!
1290
Ladies, take a seat.
1291
Go, girl.
1292
Do you swear to tell
the truth, the whole truth...
1293
and nothing but the truth,
so help you God?
1294
- I do.
- Be seated.
1295
Ms. Woods, you may begin
your questioning.
1296
First of all
I would like to point out...
1297
that not only is there
no proof in this case...
1298
but there is a complete
lack of mens rea...
1299
which by definition tells us
there can be no crime...
1300
without a vicious will.
1301
I am aware of the meaning
of mens rea.
1302
What I'm unaware of...
1303
is why you're giving me
a vocabulary lesson...
1304
when you should be
questioning your witness.
1305
when you should be
questioning your witness.
1306
Yes, Your Honor.
1307
Miss Windham...
1308
when you arrived
back at the house...
1309
was your father there?
1310
Not that I saw,
but like I said...
1311
I went straight upstairs
to take a shower.
1312
And when you came downstairs,
what happened?
1313
I saw Brooke
standing over his body...
1314
drenched in his blood.
1315
But Mrs. Windham
didn't have a gun?
1316
No. She'd stashed it
by then.
1317
Move to strike that
from the record, Your Honor.
1318
- It's speculation.
- So stricken.
1319
Go ahead.
1320
Miss Windham,
did you hear a shot fired?
1321
No. I was in the shower.
1322
So, sometime
in the 20 minutes...
1323
that you were in the shower,
your father was shot.
1324
I guess.
1325
Your father was shot
while you were in the shower...
1326
but you didn't hear
the shot because...
1327
because you were in the shower?
1328
I was washing my hair.
1329
Where is she going with this?
1330
Have a little faith, Gerard.
1331
Miss Windham...
1332
what had you done
earlier that day?
1333
I got up...
1334
got a latte,
went to the gym...
1335
got a perm, and came home.
1336
Where you got in the shower?
1337
I believe the witness
has made it clear...
1338
that she was in the shower.
1339
Yes, Your Honor.
1340
Miss Windham, had you
ever gotten a perm before?
1341
How many would you say?
1342
Two a year since I was 12.
1343
You do the math.
1344
A girl in my sorority,
Tracy Marcinko, got a perm once.
1345
We all tried
to talk her out of it.
1346
Curls weren't
a good look for her.
1347
She didn't have
your bone structure.
1348
But, thankfully,
that same day...
1349
she entered the Beta Delta Pi
wet t-shirt contest...
1350
where she was completely
hosed down from head to toe.
1351
Objection!
Why is this relevant?
1352
I have a point, I promise.
1353
Then make it.
1354
Yes, ma'am.
1355
Chutney, why were
Tracy Marcinko's curls ruined...
1356
when she got hosed down?
1357
Because they got wet?
1358
Exactly. Isn't it
the first cardinal rule...
1359
of perm maintenance that you're
forbidden to wet your hair...
1360
for at least 24 hours
after getting a perm...
1361
at the risk of deactivating
the ammonium thioglycolate?
1362
And wouldn't somebody
who's had, say, 30 perms...
1363
in their life
be well aware of this r |