第11题

Some people think we should ban animal experiments. Others think it is necessary for the development of science. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

We all knows（主谓一致错误） that science researches（scientific research是不是更好呢？！） need experiments. And lots of experiments especially medical and pharmaceutical experiments have the animals, like dogs and monkeys, involved. When coming across the question:” Are animal experiments should be banned （低级错误！！！应该为should animal experiments be banned!!!）?” , people’s opinions differ. (41words)

结构点评：此段没有明确表达作者自己的观点，而是通过最后１句引出下文，写得还比较自然。但是，大家要明白一点，第１段还是明确提出自己观点的好，因为这个常规写法，最主要的是因为考官期望在第１段看到你的观点！！！

语言方面：小错误很多，而且还有非常低级的错误，我的预判是，５分的水平。

Some people think we should ban animal experiments. They argue that animals are friends of human beings. Some animals such as dogs accompany with（accompany是及物动词，不需要with） children and bring happiness to families. If animals are tested, they are(应该用将来时吧) definitely hurt, even killed by experiments. It is so cruel for the lovely animals. Animals are so innocent that they should not be hurt. It is so selfish for people to carry on（应该是carry out吧） experiments on animals. （72words）

Others hold the opinion that animal experiments are necessary for the development of science. Without animal experiments, medicine won’t be allowed to apply to the human being for its danger. And the animal experiment is the best way to know ourselves（这句话我不是很理解！！！）. We can take the advantage of the animals to test new drugs. (53words)

正文段总评：此篇文章用的是正反两段论的正文段写法，即正文段写两段，一段是支持的观点；一段是反对的观点；分别就两种观点进行分析。这种写法是大作文比较常见的一种写法，还是值得一用的。

语言方面：错误是有的，但相对来说是少了一些，主要原因是作者采用了许多简单的表达方式，所以不太容易犯错。这种写法最多可以达到６分。所以对一些英语基础一般，也不需要很高的作文分数的考生来说，是一种不错的写作策略！！！

As to myself, I agree with the latter. I love animals. But the life and health of human beings outweigh it. In the case of disease, such as SARS, animal experiment is inevitable to be carried. The sacrifice of animals is worthy(用worthwhile是不是比较好呢), if compared with that of people. It doesn’t mean we are permitted to kill animals. We should protect the animal unless we have no other way to choose. In short, although we should protect animals, animal experiment is still necessary for the development of science. （253words）

总评：５分。整篇文章从结构和内容来说都比较清楚。唯一不足的地方就是没有什么好词好句以及一些小错误。

这样的文章比较实用，对于基础一般的学生可以采用这种写作方式，还是非常实用的！！！