July 5, 2007

Sultry weather equals butterflies in the stomach and ants in pants, for it reminds you of those tragedies that had also happened in weather of the same kind. Jeffrey McReynolds was mulling over why his girlfriend had deserted him, but again, fruitless and clueless. So he text-messaged all his sadness and bewilderment to his pal Wendy Lombard, who also happened to work in Shanghai. Jeffrey lamented, “ It ’ s been two Ice Ages since I last had an iota of loving and being loved in heart. I feel real bad. I am not sure if my ability to love is lost or sealed in paraffin. I had my dinner in a greasy spoon near my leased condo. On average day, I would have a bowl of noodles and that could feed me to the neck. But today, the old favorite plus a new bowl of jiaozi didn ’ t make their way up to the middle of my esophagus. Of course, my stomach still felt puffed. It seemed I was trying to fight fire with fire. ”

Wendy ’ s replies were brief, all of them within one sentence. She said, “ Love doesn ’ t come into existence by simply thinking about it. ” Jeffrey agreed, “ Right, but I still haven ’ t found the right girl, or maybe haven ’ t bumped into her. ” Wendy ’ s concise reply arrived again, “ Of course, man. If you found true love as easily as you found a summer mosquito in the grass, love would be worthless. ”

The conciseness and provocation were more than Jeffrey could bear, but he was tinged by Wendy ’ s optimism. Still, he replied, “ It is real tiresome to live in this world. ” Wendy immediately rejoined, “ Right! This is human being. Such bad feelings come in snatches. I bet you won ’ t be bitching like this tomorrow morning. ”

Jeffrey had to say mea culpa, but he was feeling better. Finally, he wrote this to Wendy:

It is fortunate that the blue days of yours and mine are not overlapped. It is like two friends shitting side by side. Pooh, pooh! Jeffrey shitted cats and dogs. Kitties and puppies splashed really ugly, to all over the flush toilet, the ring, Jeffrey ’ s butts and parts of his pants. Jeffrey tilted his head and winced, “ You see? Shitting could be nasty! ” Wendy smiled and waved his remark off. Seconds later, ding, ding! Wendy made a neat bomb that sank into the toilet like stone. It was the sound of a shell casing clicking on a marble floor in church. It was the neatness of a professional diver. Then she remarked, “ See? Shitting could be aesthetic like this! ” Jeffrey felt it bliss to have a friend like Wendy Lombard. If she had pooh-poohed like what Jeffrey had done, life was indeed hopeless.

posted on 2007-07-05 20:47 祝晓光 阅读(1587) 评论(1)  编辑  收藏 网摘收藏